Sometimes it seems that the world is being overtaken by an invisible wave of chaos. Up seems down and what was known suddenly gets thrust into the baffling realm of mystery. Sunny days suddenly turn to tempests. Relationships with people we’ve known for years become incomprehensible puzzles.
This Sunday with the Daredevil’s Club Explorers was such a day. Given that, this Explorer will turn into the skid and let the story start with an ending and end by courting a beginning.
At the end of our day’s service, Dave and Matt sat down in silence on the grass. They had called for Daredevil’s Clubbers to circle up so we could share thanks and apples and debrief the day. They sat and watched as most of the group ran and tumbled, talking quickly to one another about whatever came up, and summarily ignored the mentors. Dave patiently glanced at his watch from time to time, watched the boys, and admired the land. Matt watched the trees in the distance. A few Explorers sat down as well,
watching the others off in their own world. After nine minutes, one of the players stopped and said, “hey, where are our apples?” After a little confusion and some conversation amongst themselves about what we were all waiting for, they slowly formed a circle.
watching the others off in their own world. After nine minutes, one of the players stopped and said, “hey, where are our apples?” After a little confusion and some conversation amongst themselves about what we were all waiting for, they slowly formed a circle.
Relationships are puzzles indeed, and finding the right thing to say at the right time is a challenge. There was a lot to be said about the day, but words need a listener, and listeners were few and far between. So, instead came a story for the group. Stories, it turns out, somehow always get full attention:
The story told of an old man who had four daughters. His family for more generations than anyone could remember had been passing on seeds of a very special crop that kept his family and his community alive and healthy. He wanted to decide which daughter would be the most reliable to receive his plot of land and take care of the seeds for 
future generations. So, he gave them a test. He gave each daughter four seeds and said, “These seeds are the lifeblood of our family and our community. Keep them safe. I will be back in three years to retrieve them.” With that, he left for a three year pilgrimage.
future generations. So, he gave them a test. He gave each daughter four seeds and said, “These seeds are the lifeblood of our family and our community. Keep them safe. I will be back in three years to retrieve them.” With that, he left for a three year pilgrimage.
The first daughter thought, “my father is going crazy. These are just ordinary seeds. Why would I bother worrying about these things for three years. I’ll throw them away and just gather some new ones to hand him when he arrives.” With that, she threw the seeds away.
The second daughter also thought her father was going a little crazy, but, she also very much wanted to inherit the land. She kept the seeds in her pocket for many days. She thought about the seeds constantly, and soon a story was created in her head. She thought that there must be something very special about these seeds. They must be magic. She thought, “if they are magic seeds, why would I wait all this time just to give them back to my father. I’ll eat them now and gain the magic powers for
myself.” With that, she ate the seeds.
myself.” With that, she ate the seeds.
The Third daughter wanted to inherit the land very badly. She knew her elder sisters would be foolish, but she feared that her younger sister would succeed. So, she took every precaution she could to make sure the seeds were safe. She locked them in a box, then locked that in another box, and she placed the box in a very safe place in her house. Every day she checked it, and continued this chore for three years.
The fourth and youngest daughter received the seeds and knew them as something precious. She sat down with them and looked at them and listened. After some time, she realized that the seeds themselves wanted to be placed in the ground, as all seeds do. So, she went to 
the back yard and dug and worked hard and planted them. She tended to the plants all season long, and, when they seeded, she collected all of the seeds. The next year she did this again. Four seeds became four hundred. Four hundred became four thousand. Four thousand became forty thousand.
the back yard and dug and worked hard and planted them. She tended to the plants all season long, and, when they seeded, she collected all of the seeds. The next year she did this again. Four seeds became four hundred. Four hundred became four thousand. Four thousand became forty thousand.
Which of the sisters inherited that land and why?
The reason for this story was because the day called for it. Every person carries seeds from his or her life experience, and particularly mentors, teachers, parents are constantly offering vital seeds. Sometimes we ignore them and throw them away. Sometimes we try to just use the knowledge for our own benefit. Sometimes we simply hold the knowledge in our heads and give it back when asked, never truly engaging with it. But, when we are at our wisest, we accept the
seeds of knowledge and experience, we plant them in our own minds, and we interact with them in our own ways so that they will grow and multiply.
seeds of knowledge and experience, we plant them in our own minds, and we interact with them in our own ways so that they will grow and multiply.
Bluntly, about half of the Daredevil’s Club threw away the seeds we offered on Sunday. Some ate them. Some put them in a box. In a few choice moments, an Explorer worked the soil and planted the seeds we offered. Let it be known that we did all do work. We did manage to have a good ambush sit spot. We met a new group of Explorers. We learned, when we didn’t throw away the seeds, about the land and why we are doing what we are doing. We removed some blackberry roots and trimmed some reed canary grass. We attempted to mentor the younger group who was out there with us. We discovered some neat birds and a bird’s nest. We played with one another.
What also happened was that the eight year olds were more focused and safety conscious than the Daredevil’s Club as a whole. They worked harder and kept to the task that was our greatest need. Matt and Dave tried quite a few techniques to inspire the Daredevil’s Club to rise to the occasion and do the work on hand—from gentle whispers to big booms, to tricks, to conversations, to leading by example, to just expressing our frustration. When these failed to inspire engagement with about half of the boys, the day turned into a lot of observation for this Explorer.
Why was the Daredevil’s Club throwing away so many seeds? Why were many ignoring us, setting bad example, and doing a little work where it didn’t yet need to be done?
What this Explorer saw, upon deep reflection, was that, on the personal level, some Explorers showed personal accountability and contributed well to the outing while others did not. On the community level, however, most of these boys simply did not want structure. These boys were craving unstructured play and were refusing to fit in any container. They want mastery, autonomy, and purpose for themselves. They need the time, the space, and the tools to cultivate this. This lead to an insight. In the past two outings,
this Explorer has noted again and again the Daredevil’s Club’s desire to have autonomy coupled with their marked lack of the ability to structure themselves enough to make decisions and follow up with action. These boys are all wonderful people. They are smart, talented, and engaged with life. They are also displaying symptoms of a cultural problem: too much structured time. This is a difficult puzzle when there are elements of Explorers Club, such as service, which do require structure. It is apparent that unstructured play is essential for the development of people’s ability to structure themselves, to create their own groups, and to act effectively.
this Explorer has noted again and again the Daredevil’s Club’s desire to have autonomy coupled with their marked lack of the ability to structure themselves enough to make decisions and follow up with action. These boys are all wonderful people. They are smart, talented, and engaged with life. They are also displaying symptoms of a cultural problem: too much structured time. This is a difficult puzzle when there are elements of Explorers Club, such as service, which do require structure. It is apparent that unstructured play is essential for the development of people’s ability to structure themselves, to create their own groups, and to act effectively.
We welcome your thoughts on this matter: expressed within your family or to us. Our goal is to help these boys find their power and their connections through service and exploration. How can we do this without being another “structure” in their scheduled days?
Here are some searches for articles on unstructured play:
Thank you for all of the seeds you are passing on.
Don’t forget to check out pics from our outing in the photo gallery.
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